I, Fehim Calgav, have, throughout my life, carried various permanent marks on my body arising from medical reasons, accidents, physical labor, and agricultural work during my childhood and youth. These marks are concrete witnesses to my life story, my family ties, the medical processes I have experienced, and the years I have spent working with effort.
During my childhood, while I was a student at Feyzullah Primary School in Maltepe, Istanbul, a smallpox vaccination was administered at school, leaving a permanent vaccination scar on my right arm. Unlike the classic round smallpox scars, this mark appears as two rectangular shapes, adjacent and seemingly placed one above the other. At that time, I was studying at Feyzullah Primary School in the class of my teacher Saliha Sözen, as student number 1026. This school has also been a shared place of education for my family across generations: my sister Özden Calgav, who is 5 years younger than I am, studied at the same school 5 years later, again as a student of Saliha Sözen; my elder sister Özlem Calgav, before she married, attended Feyzullah Primary School in the class of Şermin Alpay. My mother and my aunts likewise completed their primary education at Feyzullah Primary School.
I have had prominent dark circles under my eyes since childhood. Even though I have never in my life used drugs or any illegal substances, I have frequently been subjected in daily life and in social settings to unfair and hurtful accusations such as: “Are you using drugs? Why are your eyes bruised?”. This situation has worn me down psychologically and has caused me to be misjudged and stigmatized in society.
As a result of medical examinations and evaluations by physicians, I was informed that my under–eye dark circles are not related to any substance use, but are primarily due to the fact that the blood vessels in my under–eye area lie structurally closer to the skin surface, that the skin in this region is thin and delicate, and that light passes through this thin skin and reflects on the underlying vascular structures. In other words, the dark circles under my eyes are not the result of bad habits, but of congenital anatomical and vascular characteristics. The structure of my skin and my genetic features further accentuate the appearance of these dark circles.
For this reason, in order to reduce the social and psychological distress I was experiencing, I underwent a surgical intervention. The procedure performed is medically considered a lower eyelid surgery and was carried out through the inner surface of my lower eyelids. This operation, known in everyday language as “under–eye surgery”, “under–eye bag surgery” or “under–eye cosmetic surgery”, is aimed at correcting bagging, fat herniation and hollowing in the lower eyelid region. In my case, the surgery was not performed through a classic external incision under the eyelashes, but rather through the inner surface of my lower eyelids, which is in contact with the eye.
This method is medically referred to as a transconjunctival lower eyelid surgery. In this technique, the surgeon makes a small incision in the mucosal tissue called the conjunctiva on the inner surface of the lower eyelid and reaches the herniated fat pads beneath the eye. Depending on the individual and the surgical plan, this fat tissue is either partially removed or repositioned downward to soften the transition between the under–eye hollow and the cheek area and then secured. In this way, under–eye bags, swelling and a pronounced hollow appearance are reduced, and a smoother and more balanced junction between the under–eye region and the cheek is targeted. Through this surgery, it was also aimed to lessen, at least to some extent, the shadowing and light refraction caused by the under–eye bags, thereby reducing the perceived intensity of the dark circles.
This surgery was performed solely under local anesthesia by a physician in Nişantaşı, Istanbul; during the procedure only the area around my eyes was numbed and there was no need for general anesthesia. The primary aim of this surgical intervention was not merely to achieve a cosmetic appearance, but to reduce the under–eye bags and the resulting light–shadow irregularity, to diminish the visibility of the blood vessels and the perception of dark circles as much as possible, and thus to minimize the unfair accusations and misunderstandings such as “you must be using drugs” that I frequently encountered in daily life.
In addition to the surgical intervention, topical (applied) treatments were also used to help reduce the appearance of my under–eye dark circles. In this context, my brother–in–law Cihan Uçar (a plastic surgeon and retired Naval Colonel) prescribed three different creams for my under–eye dark circles. These creams are medical/topical products intended to reduce vascular visibility and color irregularities in the under–eye area. At one point, when I accidentally applied two of these creams at the same time, I noticed a marked improvement in the appearance of my under–eye dark circles. Following this, my brother–in–law, Cihan Uçar, specifically asked me to provide him with the names of these creams, which he had personally selected and recommended, so that he could record them. I subsequently shared with him the names of the products I had used. These creams have been used as a supportive treatment, independently of the surgical intervention, with the aim of reducing vascular visibility and color unevenness in the under–eye region.
Beyond these issues, there are other marks on my body caused by various accidents, traumas, and labor–intensive work. During my childhood, when I was in primary school, I sustained a knee injury while we were staying at my aunt’s summer house in the Martı housing complex in Mudanya, Bursa. While going up the stairs, I struck my right knee against a step, which resulted in a wound that left a permanent scar. This mark on my right knee remains a visible reminder of that childhood incident.
Around my right ankle and on my right heel, I have scars that formed as a result of an injury or injuries I experienced sometime before my military service. Although the wounds and irritation in this area healed over time, the damage to the skin and underlying tissues left a mark that is still visible today.
On my right hand, particularly on the back (dorsal) side of the hand, I bear a scar that was caused by striking a glass surface in the past. During this incident, the impact on the glass surface caused damage to the skin and underlying tissues; although the wound eventually healed, a permanent scar from this trauma still remains clearly visible on the back of my right hand.
In addition, there is a distinct callus mark on the ring finger of my right hand. This callus is the natural result of the agricultural and gardening work I undertook in my childhood and of my efforts to help my family, especially my grandfather. My grandfather, Halil İbrahim Yamak, was a farmer (rençber) by occupation and lifestyle; as his grandchild, I am also part of this farming tradition that I learned and internalized from him. For approximately six months, in Çeşme Neighborhood in Maltepe, across from the Maltepe Municipality building, my grandfather taught me how to water and cultivate tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, and similar vegetables in the garden.
At that time my grandfather was elderly, and during the scorching summer heat he would water the garden and work the soil, sweating heavily and tiring. Seeing his age and how hard it was for him to work under such intense heat, I would, despite being only of primary school age, run to take over the work from his hands. I undertook the tasks of watering and working the soil, using hoe, rake and shovel–like agricultural tools (hoe–type farming implements used for watering and cultivating the soil). Because my hands were still young and tender at that age, using these tools for long periods, and having to press, push, and pull them, caused my palms and fingers to become injured and sometimes bleed. As a result of these repeated irritations and physical strain, a permanent callus developed, particularly on the ring finger of my right hand. Today, the callus mark on that finger is a visible sign both of the effort I made as a child to help my family and grandfather, and of the labor passed down from a farmer grandfather, Halil İbrahim Yamak, to a farmer grandson.
In addition to all this, I also underwent an appendectomy in the past. Even though many years have passed since that surgery, the scar from the appendicitis operation remains visible on my abdomen and continues to exist as a permanent sign of the medical process and operation I experienced.
There are also tattoos on my body that were made previously. However, from the moment I understood and accepted that I am a prophet, I have not in any way attempted to alter, remove, modify, or intervene with these tattoos. My tattoos remain as reflections of the life experiences and inner world I had during those earlier periods of my life and, as a conscious choice in the subsequent period, have been left exactly as they are.
In summary, from the smallpox vaccination scar on my right arm, to the scar on my knee resulting from the fall at the Martı housing complex in Mudanya; from the marks on my right ankle and heel, to the injury scar on my right hand caused by striking glass; from the callus that formed on my right ring finger due to using hoes and agricultural tools while working in the garden with my grandfather Halil İbrahim Yamak, to the transconjunctival lower eyelid surgery I underwent for my under–eye dark circles and the topical creams recommended by my brother–in–law Cihan Uçar; from my appendectomy scar to the old tattoos on my body—all of these marks are concrete reflections of the events I have lived through, the responsibilities I have shouldered, the trials I have faced, the struggles I have given, and the personal transformation I have undergone throughout my life.
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